Becoming de-influenced to become an artist.
It might seem strange that my first instinct to becoming an artist isn’t to run to the art store and grab a bunch of pencils and brushes and get to work every morning. But the simple truth is I have not create any space for that to happen. My body is riddled with anxiety every morning and it’s very hard for me to make it through the day. I’m used to constantly being influenced. Being on my phone for almost four hours a day, watching TikTok reels, instagram stories, photos on Pinterest, podcast episodes, YouTube videos and even music. And they are all constantly influencing my mood and my subconscious and conscious mind. The truth is I don’t know how to see for myself anymore. I don’t even know how to operate on my own thoughts without someone else’s input constantly in my ear or watching something online, always needing further research or a second opinion. So I’ve decided I need to learn how to actually just be with myself. I think this is a very important step for artists, learning how to be fully immersed and experience our own environments.
Because how am I supposed to portray life if I can’t even deeply observe and perceive it? And how am I supposed to sit and work on a piece of art for hours when I can’t even stand to be alone with my thoughts for more than a minute? Art isn’t just about having talent or skill. It’s also about having a great deal of patience. Without patience you cannot develop the skills you need to create the work that you want to. Or the patience to allow yourself to be bad and allow yourself to slowly progress. It’s also very hard to allow yourself to explore and learn when all you’re looking at is the world’s top artists posting their greatest works. It makes you give up before you even allowed yourself to begin to try.
The thing I’m trying to do is allow myself the room and ability to play again. To let boredom come in and allow intuition to guide me. Another big thing I’m doing is not allowing myself to create. To let the ideas come and pass me by. This might seem very opposite to what I should be doing. I should be writing down every single little idea I have and allow nothing to pass me by, but this is exactly the trouble I always run into. Instead I need to allow myself to observe, have great thoughts and images come to me but also allow them to float on by. To get used to the idea that great ideas are constantly surrounding me. I have a million of them. But it is not for me to feel responsible in order to catch every single one. There’s a peace that comes from letting things go and seeing what new ones come in. Because a huge problem I have in being a creative is I have major “shiny syndrome” where when I working on something and the going gets tough all I want to do is quit and go work on something else. Or I stress out about that fact that saying yes to just one idea means saying no to all the others.
So instead I’m opting to delve into my senses and allow myself to observe and enjoy for awhile. Not get so stuck in my head and trying to plan everything out. For me this means, taking a bath and fully enjoying the experience without my phone or listening to anything. It also means going for a walk without headphones and just observing things around me, really noticing my surroundings while also letting my mind wander. A big one is also just allowing my days to unfold without such a strict tight plan. Really allowing intuition to guide me instead of having a very rigid structure that I feel I need to follow. Instead taking the pressure off and allowing for lightness and play again. Connecting to the life I’m living and not the one on my screen. Just allowing for flow. Because that’s where I’ll find my creativity and patience again.
Hope this helps!
~ B